Picking up the pieces

Camomile in the potato field

 

I now feel ready to resume blogging.  It's now seven weeks since Mike's death and, in some ways, it is just really hitting me.  All of a sudden I'm feeling quite redundant and on some days, such as today, at a loss as to what to do.  It's not that I haven't anything to do - quite the opposite - but I now realise how much time Mike and I spent travelling to and from hospital, and attending various appointments.  Since he had to give up driving we used public transport, which was fine, but took so much longer to get there and back.  It was just second nature for me to put Mike's needs first and now I am noticing there is no real focus to my days, so hence the redundant feeling.  I miss him so much, but am comforted by knowing that he is at peace and no longer suffering.  The ways and means of how I am dealing with my loss is for me and my family only, and not blogging material.  However, the contents of my blogs should, from now on, include details of how I am adapting to my new life as a widow.

Blackberries, down the lane

 

Let's start with the title 'Picking up the Pieces' which covers the above, but also includes a trio of accidents I have experienced over the past two months or so.  During Mike's last few days in the QE I managed to slip on the bedroom floor one night(I think some polish or similar had fallen onto the laminate)  and  went a cropper - full length along the bottom of the bed, winding myself and, for a moment, thinking I had broken a rib.  However, from an earlier experience, I realised in the end that I had just badly bruised my rib (and shoulder and leg).  It took a good week or so to recover from that incident.  Then at the Canwell Show I walked over to admire some cattle and put my foot down a rabbit hole, twisting my ankle quite badly.  That's OK now, but still swells up a bit at night.  Last Tuesday I had been down the fields collecting blackberries.  On my way back, despite the fact I had a large container full, I just had to have those last few I spotted up a little bank.  Coming back down, a hidden bramble acted as a trip wire, and I ended up face first on the path, and fearing I had broken my nose due to a cracking sound.  Well, that really winded me too, and I'm only just getting over it really.  The nose appears to be healing well and doesn't appear broken, the bitten lip is healing, and the knee has almost recovered.  The most maddening thing was that I was due to resume walking with the club the following day, after a long absence, and my kit was all ready in the spare bedroom.  So, I had to ring my friend and cry off. Just that  morning I'd bought myself some new boots and walking poles.  I know these were not age-related accidents, but if I continue in this vein my family will be putting me into a home!

 

So what positive things have happened?  Well, I've gone back to Mere Green Ladies Club, after years away from it, and it was lovely to see all the same people there. I was made very welcome and am looking forward to attending the future meetings. Last Saturday I spent the afternoon/evening at Brumfest with A & R and some of their friends, watching bands in the squares and in the pubs, and finishing off with an excellent curry at Saffron.   If I don't have any more accidents I will be off walking again with St Mary's Rambling Club.  I've bought a rail card and hope to visit one or two friends, and to stay with my sister and husband in County Durham.  The family history research will take off again once the dark nights set in and the gardening and plotting come to a standstill.  In fact I was recently  invited to join Mike's cousin and her husband on a trip to Kilkenny in Ireland, to attend the launch of a book called 'Peter's Key' written by Declan Dunne.  'Peter' (an ancestor of Mike and his cousin, as well as Declan, the author) was in fact Peter Deloughry,  Irish patriot and politician, who masterminded the escape of De Valera from Lincoln Jail in 1919, by making the key which got him out.  Unfortunately the visit clashes with my birthday and, at the moment, I would prefer to spend it with my family.  However, I'm looking forward to hearing about the book launch and to reading the book, a copy of which they are bringing back for me. 

 

At last I'm getting to grips with the garden a little at a time (between recoving from the accidents).  It doesn't look to bad considering the strange weather conditions, and having been neglected more than usual.  Thank goodness for my plot too.  It really is a special place, and has kept my spirits up during some difficult times.  OK, like other plots, it isn't at it's best, but we have all struggled this year.  I'm managing to collect enough veg for myself, and an abundance of raspberries too.  The freezer is rather full of soft fruit.  However, for the first year I can remember my runner and French beans have not been a success, but the Borlottis look as if they will be OK.  This lunch time I enjoyed cheese and biscuits with my first beetroot (there won't be many this year) and toms from the greenhouse.  The parsnips (all half a dozen out of three sowings) look a bit pathetic, but the leeks and salsify appear to be OK.  I'm pleased I put in strong defences over the cabbages and caulis having seen how the caterpillars had devastated Pat and Nick's brassicas, but despite using slug pellets there still is some slug damage to the lower leaves on mine.  Yesterday I was down on the plot collecting even more raspberries, and doing a bit of weeding, so I spread a few more pellets under the defences. I will be lucky to get three apples off my tree this year - but no plums and no cherries.  My seed grown sweetpeas are coming to an end, but those grown from bought plants are continuing to produce good, long stemmed flowers.  When they first flowered the perfume was very slight but, for some reason it seems much stronger now.  At the garden centre yesterday I took advantage of the 50p seed sale and with great control on my part, came away with only 13 packets, including 3 of sweet peas to sow this winter.  I dare say I might have to return for a longer spell of sorting through all the containers for even more packets!